Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Bare Update

What to write. I have written in 2 years and that should tell you I am not very good at this blog crap. I live my life and post on facebook a lot.

Ryan is 8.5yo now and doing well in his Life Skills class. He hasn't been able to go into the 2nd grade classroom due to his outbursts and not being able to sit still. His teacher and his paras are amazing and special in their own right. He is a straight A student and the whole school loves him. Ryan has tried hot dogs this school year. He will take meds a little easier.  Ryan wears pull ups and is eating the same foods since he was 2yo. Ryan is currently on a med for his Anxiety and a patch for his ADHD. He takes Melatonin at night, but it doesn't seem to be working much anymore.

Liam is 5.5yo now and in Kindergarten. Liam had a rough year in Pre-K due to behavior and bad school staff. I had Liam transferred to another school to get him out of that crappy school and lack of helpfulness from the staff just blew me away. I learn more and more each day as Liam lets out stuff of what happened at that school every once in awhile. It makes my blood boil and does help me understand why he hated the school so bad. At Liam's new school, which is the school Ryan goes to, he is excelling after a rough and naked 1st week. Liam still has his moments, but they have gone down 85% from a year ago. His kindy teacher has created him a HULK spot where he can go and cover up with a blanket and chill until he is ready to come back to class. The school admins and staff are amazing at this school. I wish every kid with any issue could go to this public school and experience the positive staff and feeling of the school. Liam is on meds for anger until he is 6yo and can get further testing. The docs say - mild/moderate ADHD, mood disorder with Anxiety, and ODD. Liam will be 6yo in September, so we wait.

David is working for the State and has been for most of Liam's life. He has been having health issues recently and that does worry me. David's sugar levels are high on occasion, but for the most part in the normal range. One of his feet hurt off and on due to a bone spur and over use. He has reflux and his sinuses make him sick often. David has set expectations for people and when things are not his way, he yells. The stress of his job is big and I wish he would see a counselor to help him out. I have asked him a couple of times to see someone and talk it out. David went to Iraq in 2005 and we were just a married couple. He was able to come back and be home for 30 days a year until he returned in October 2010 due to health issues. When he got back, we had grown to a family of 4. It was a big adjustment and with all the health issues, I don't think David is handling it well.

I am a SAHM and I do love it. I don't like being the punching bag to Liam's outbursts. I have seen a counselor and have realized I have severe Anxiety and Depression. I survive each day instead of living each day. I eat to hide the demons inside because society as a whole doesn't expect much from a fat person. I can hide the hurt, pain, and demons behind layers of fat. I have been abuse by a few men in my past. I weigh over 370 pounds and I am 5'6". My teeth hurt due to bad food choices and genetics. My sex drive is nil. I don't want to do anything sexual. It is overwhelming.