Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Bare Update

What to write. I have written in 2 years and that should tell you I am not very good at this blog crap. I live my life and post on facebook a lot.

Ryan is 8.5yo now and doing well in his Life Skills class. He hasn't been able to go into the 2nd grade classroom due to his outbursts and not being able to sit still. His teacher and his paras are amazing and special in their own right. He is a straight A student and the whole school loves him. Ryan has tried hot dogs this school year. He will take meds a little easier.  Ryan wears pull ups and is eating the same foods since he was 2yo. Ryan is currently on a med for his Anxiety and a patch for his ADHD. He takes Melatonin at night, but it doesn't seem to be working much anymore.

Liam is 5.5yo now and in Kindergarten. Liam had a rough year in Pre-K due to behavior and bad school staff. I had Liam transferred to another school to get him out of that crappy school and lack of helpfulness from the staff just blew me away. I learn more and more each day as Liam lets out stuff of what happened at that school every once in awhile. It makes my blood boil and does help me understand why he hated the school so bad. At Liam's new school, which is the school Ryan goes to, he is excelling after a rough and naked 1st week. Liam still has his moments, but they have gone down 85% from a year ago. His kindy teacher has created him a HULK spot where he can go and cover up with a blanket and chill until he is ready to come back to class. The school admins and staff are amazing at this school. I wish every kid with any issue could go to this public school and experience the positive staff and feeling of the school. Liam is on meds for anger until he is 6yo and can get further testing. The docs say - mild/moderate ADHD, mood disorder with Anxiety, and ODD. Liam will be 6yo in September, so we wait.

David is working for the State and has been for most of Liam's life. He has been having health issues recently and that does worry me. David's sugar levels are high on occasion, but for the most part in the normal range. One of his feet hurt off and on due to a bone spur and over use. He has reflux and his sinuses make him sick often. David has set expectations for people and when things are not his way, he yells. The stress of his job is big and I wish he would see a counselor to help him out. I have asked him a couple of times to see someone and talk it out. David went to Iraq in 2005 and we were just a married couple. He was able to come back and be home for 30 days a year until he returned in October 2010 due to health issues. When he got back, we had grown to a family of 4. It was a big adjustment and with all the health issues, I don't think David is handling it well.

I am a SAHM and I do love it. I don't like being the punching bag to Liam's outbursts. I have seen a counselor and have realized I have severe Anxiety and Depression. I survive each day instead of living each day. I eat to hide the demons inside because society as a whole doesn't expect much from a fat person. I can hide the hurt, pain, and demons behind layers of fat. I have been abuse by a few men in my past. I weigh over 370 pounds and I am 5'6". My teeth hurt due to bad food choices and genetics. My sex drive is nil. I don't want to do anything sexual. It is overwhelming.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

2014 is here!

Bullshit, Shit, BS, Malarkey, Gosh Darnit are words that are running rampant in my house right now. Ryan has picked up new words from friends, TV, iPad, family, or school. I have tried to offer new words and I hope that works.

Ryan has started on a probiotic and he is doing well. He has had an increase in bowel movements, but not much else has changed. In a couple of weeks I am going to change something else in his diet and work things slowly to see if anything will help.

The whole house was sick this past week. Ryan and Liam had the flu during Thanksgiving and now a cold during Yule/Christmas time. Yeah!

I keep getting headaches. I am not sure if it is my BP, glasses, teeth, or something else.

David has been transferred and loves his new unit. He likes the people and hours. I am glad he is happy.

Liam has Issues!

Liam has been having issues and behavior that was excessive physically, so David and I have taken him to a few doctors to get their DX on his behavior.

Good News - All doctors and therapists agree that Liam doesn't have Autism. Yeah!!!

Liam's DX -

Liam does score in the elevated and high range for his age level on many aspects of his personality, which means he doesn't behave like a typical 3yo..

Liam's Therapist is working on his aggressive behavior through family therapy.

Liam's psych doctor has given him a preliminary DX of ADHD and ODD. Liam is on Risperdal with monthly blood tests.

Liam's psychologist doesn't want to label Liam with ADHD or ODD at this time. She said the ODD label is very hard to come back from. So, she says she would DX Liam with Unspecified Disruptive Impulse Control Disorder. She even gave me the number to find out more info under the DSM V. We go back to her in 6 months.


Monday, November 4, 2013

Falling apart....

I am tired all the time. I have a zit on my face. I get a sickly stomach after eating sometimes. My breasts are huge and I hate to wear a bra. I am farting like a man.

David got into a car accident on Halloween. He got a ticket for following too closely in heavy traffic during a rain storm.  The van will probably be totaled.

Liam has an evaluation this week for ADHD, Autism, and PDD.

Ryan is doing well on new meds. Yeah!

Too tired and bloated to type anymore!

Friday, October 18, 2013

Just one more piece

Liam has been aggressive since he could walk. ECI came in and tried to help. It worked for awhile and now it has stopped.
Liam throws toys, rips things apart, hits people, pulls hair, and bites.

I get these questions all the time -
Isn't that what a 3yo is supposed to do? --- Not to my knowledge!
Is he copying his Autistic older brother? --- No, Ryan is a loner and will only get aggressive when provoked.
Is he doing this for attention? --- Sometimes and he gets it all the way to TIME OUT!!!!

Liam went to see a psych doctor and the doctor saw ADHD and sent us to see another doctor for an evaluation for PDD, ADHD, and what ever other letters they want to put down. I am waiting on the call from evaluator to set up that appointment.

Liam's new thing is to throw the time out chair at me. It takes all my strength to not spank him.

I am not a big spanker. I do spank, but not often. As a child when I was in trouble, I had saucepans thrown at my head, car doors slammed on my fingers or legs, and told I was ugly, fat, dumb, and not worth spending time with. This abuse was handed down by my father and my mother would cry and drink another vodka tonic. 


Saturday, July 27, 2013

Happy Birthday to ME!!!!!!

Today is my last day to be 40yo.

 In 2.5 hours, I will be 41yo. LOL! Big Jump! I love getting older. People are always astonished at my age. Thanks to my parents for good genes. I would like the skinny genes next time!

My life is not what I expected it to be. I wanted to have my kids when I was in my late 20s and be retired by 40yo. That sure didn't happen. I had my kids in my late 30s and I don't work outside of the home, so retirement is not coming.

I can tell you that I wouldn't give up my life that I have now for anything. I have a great husband, who listens 80% of the time to me, and 2 great sons.

I get some questions asked to me all the time, so I thought I would answer them all in one place.

Do I ever wish I had a daughter? Sure do, but girls are expensive.

Would I cure Ryan of Autism if given the chance? I would miss the pure moments, but I would love to take away any strife or pain from him. Ryan knows no different, but I do. I have been bullied and no kid should have to go through that.

Why don't you work? I Stay At Home because it saves my family money. If I worked, my check would be eaten up with daycare costs and what job would let me off when Ryan or Liam are sick. Ryan was sick for the whole month of March. We only have one car and I don't drive. I would have to pay someone else to drive me. David's schedule changes every day and he could get called in for overtime at a moments notice.





Sunday, June 9, 2013

Is it June already?

Ryan has finished her first complete year of school. Yeah! He had some rough days and some SICK days, but we made it. Ryan learned to read simple books, he learned his age, he learned where he lived, and he is potty training. Ryan will be going to school during the summer, so his regression will be at a minimum.

Liam is going to see a psych doctor for his fears of bugs. He won't walk on the ground if he sees a bug. He will scream and jump around. He will talk about monsters and such coming to get him. He wakes up in the middle of the night talking about monsters and won't go back to bed until we kill them all. Shadows and reflections at night bother him. Liam will also be seeing an ENT if he gets one more ear infection.

David is working hard and hoping for a raise soon. I am looking into going back to college for a Bachelors. There are so many hoops to jump through. I have been approached about being a para.Transportation and a babysitter for the kids are what is holding me back. I guess I need a nanny. LOL!!!

David turns 37 years old in less than 2 weeks. He doesn't like aging. LOL!